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He: Sir, I have just got a new erection!!!
Me: (to myself) what the hell? Why would anyone want to come to me with a situation like this, is he looking for a half day leave or more worryingly an interim loan to deal with the situation... is there a limit to the excuses one can think of for these (In a slightly more audible tone) New Erection?? What did you do with the old one???
He: (with a smug smile) offloaded it on to the head of our new receptionist …
Me: (to myself) OMG!! (To him) and how did you manage??
He: Simple… I walked up to her … took it out and showed it to her …I asked her if she wanted it with the rubber sheath that I had put on it … or if I should take it off …
Me: and???
He: She said though the thing would look more desirable without the rubber on it, for safety purposes she preferred it with the rubber …
Me: Sensible Girl … and then?
He: well what is there to ask in that? She took it in her hands … played around a bit and then slid into her purse…
Me: Purse? Is that what they call it these days …?
He: Why? What else would they call it … she has a nice and compact pink coloured one I must add …
Me: Nice! Compact!! Pink!!!
He: Exactly … Seen a few women with huge, black, elastic ones you know what I mean … no matter what you stuff into them, it is never full…
Me: not too sure … and then..??
He: …what then … oh the receptionist story …
Me: Uh…. Umm… yes
He: She deftly moved the flaps of her purse, slid it in and out and could not stop screaming for joy, telling what a perfect fit it was ….
Me: Stop that now… or else I might end up having an erection myself…
He: Not a bad idea Sir, I can help you get one …
Me: Thanks but No Thanks … I am not that type… I am surprised you managed all this during office hours … even more shocked that she was okay with it…
He: Not just okay Sir, She was so thrilled, that she even paid me, though I insisted that it was my pleasure
Me: She paid you for that!!!
He: Yes Of course … but forget that, I came to talk about my new erection… you want to have a look?
Me: (to myself) How Gross! What the hell do I look like to him? (To him) I am sorry, I think, I told you, am not the type….
He: But sir … why so serious … just look at my trousers can you make it out??
Me: I am not looking anywhere in that direction, I told you I am not the type …
He: Well sir, you might as well look … this one is smaller in size and cannot be seen over as easily as the one earlier, which was rather huge ….
Me: The one you gave the receptionist …
He: yeah the same one …
Me: No wonder she thought it fit to pay you …
He: Anyone would have paid for that one sir… but why don’t we come back to my new one
Me: Why don’t you go back to her with it …?
He: I showed her already …
Me: (Is this guy for Real??) and what did she think of it …
He: She said she would have taken this one gladly if not for the earlier one…
Me: despite the smaller size?
He: Believe me sir, size is not what really matters to most women, or even men for that matter … it is what is packed into the size that matters
Me: Are you sure? I recently read in a Woman’s Mag that “size does not matter” is a myth being propagated by men who don’t make the cut …
He: Well at least the women I knew always told me so …
Me: Maybe it’s a case of … A small erection in your hand is worth more than a large one in someone else’s bush
He: Bush... What bush??
Me: Maybe not everyone has one… but the proverb still holds… if need be change the Bush into Purse …
He: Whatever … Sir I insist you have a look at mine…
Me: I insist, I don’t think I am the type …
He: I don’t care what type you are, you still have to have to look… don’t take it in your hand if you don’t like but you sure need to see it … I am sure the moment you see it, you will want it in your hand though …
Me: What arrogance … this is office and you are my junior… if anyone shows anyone anything that will be me showing you …. And not vice versa
He: But I have already seen yours …
Me: What? When?? Where????
He: On several occasions … even as recently as late last evening… while you were showing it off to Radhika Madam…
Me: OMG … what the hell were you doing in the office at that time… I thought there was no one else here other than her and me …
He: Well, Sir you can never be sure can you …
Me: I hope you will not go around talking about that though ….
He: Not if you agree to see mine …
Me: (You deserve this for been so careless) Uh… Umm ... Okay … just the one time … you will be across the table and two feet away from it … and will stay there till you put it back in…
He: It’s not explosive …
Me: Why am I not too sure about that …?
He: Whatever … I am sure you will want to take it once you see it
Me: I am not too sure about that too … why we don’t get this done with … I have other things to do …
He slowly slides his hands into his trousers and pulls out a brand new phone …
Me: Hey...That’s the new Ericsson ….
He: That’s exactly what I said … a new Erection!!!
