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A Tale Of Two Erections !!!

Statutory Warning: This blog may contain references that may not be suitable for all age groups/ audiences
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He: Sir, I have just got a new erection!!!


Me: (to myself) what the hell? Why would anyone want to come to me with a situation like this, is he looking for a half day leave or more worryingly an interim loan to deal with the situation... is there a limit to the excuses one can think of for these (In a slightly more audible tone) New Erection?? What did you do with the old one???


He: (with a smug smile) offloaded it on to the head of our new receptionist …


Me: (to myself) OMG!! (To him) and how did you manage??


He: Simple… I walked up to her … took it out and showed it to her …I asked her if she wanted it with the rubber sheath that I had put on it … or if I should take it off …


Me: and???


He: She said though the thing would look more desirable without the rubber on it, for safety purposes she preferred it with the rubber …


Me: Sensible Girl … and then?


He: well what is there to ask in that? She took it in her hands … played around a bit and then slid into her purse…


Me: Purse? Is that what they call it these days …?


He: Why? What else would they call it … she has a nice and compact pink coloured one I must add …


Me: Nice! Compact!! Pink!!!


He: Exactly … Seen a few women with huge, black, elastic ones you know what I mean … no matter what you stuff into them, it is never full…


Me: not too sure … and then..??


He: …what then … oh the receptionist story …


Me: Uh…. Umm… yes


He: She deftly moved the flaps of her purse, slid it in and out and could not stop screaming for joy, telling what a perfect fit it was ….


Me: Stop that now… or else I might end up having an erection myself…


He: Not a bad idea Sir, I can help you get one …


Me: Thanks but No Thanks … I am not that type… I am surprised you managed all this during office hours … even more shocked that she was okay with it…


He: Not just okay Sir, She was so thrilled, that she even paid me, though I insisted that it was my pleasure


Me: She paid you for that!!!


He: Yes Of course … but forget that, I came to talk about my new erection… you want to have a look?


Me: (to myself) How Gross! What the hell do I look like to him? (To him) I am sorry, I think, I told you, am not the type….



He: But sir … why so serious … just look at my trousers can you make it out??


Me: I am not looking anywhere in that direction, I told you I am not the type …


He: Well sir, you might as well look … this one is smaller in size and cannot be seen over as easily as the one earlier, which was rather huge ….


Me: The one you gave the receptionist …


He: yeah the same one …


Me: No wonder she thought it fit to pay you …


He: Anyone would have paid for that one sir… but why don’t we come back to my new one


Me: Why don’t you go back to her with it …?

He: I showed her already …


Me: (Is this guy for Real??) and what did she think of it …


He: She said she would have taken this one gladly if not for the earlier one…


Me: despite the smaller size?


He: Believe me sir, size is not what really matters to most women, or even men for that matter … it is what is packed into the size that matters


Me: Are you sure? I recently read in a Woman’s Mag that “size does not matter” is a myth being propagated by men who don’t make the cut …


He: Well at least the women I knew always told me so …


Me: Maybe it’s a case of … A small erection in your hand is worth more than a large one in someone else’s bush


He: Bush... What bush??


Me: Maybe not everyone has one… but the proverb still holds… if need be change the Bush into Purse …


He: Whatever … Sir I insist you have a look at mine…


Me: I insist, I don’t think I am the type …


He: I don’t care what type you are, you still have to have to look… don’t take it in your hand if you don’t like but you sure need to see it … I am sure the moment you see it, you will want it in your hand though …


Me: What arrogance … this is office and you are my junior… if anyone shows anyone anything that will be me showing you …. And not vice versa


He: But I have already seen yours …


Me: What? When?? Where????


He: On several occasions … even as recently as late last evening… while you were showing it off to Radhika Madam…


Me: OMG … what the hell were you doing in the office at that time… I thought there was no one else here other than her and me …


He: Well, Sir you can never be sure can you …


Me: I hope you will not go around talking about that though ….


He: Not if you agree to see mine …


Me: (You deserve this for been so careless) Uh… Umm ... Okay … just the one time … you will be across the table and two feet away from it … and will stay there till you put it back in…


He: It’s not explosive …


Me: Why am I not too sure about that …?


He: Whatever … I am sure you will want to take it once you see it


Me: I am not too sure about that too … why we don’t get this done with … I have other things to do …


He slowly slides his hands into his trousers and pulls out a brand new phone …


Me: Hey...That’s the new Ericsson ….


He: That’s exactly what I said … a new Erection!!!


9 comments:

DeeplyDip said...

lol...good one :)
will now check your archives as well

I Witness said...

Heyy DeeplyDip

Thanks a lot for stopping by and recording your appreciation... hopefully the archives will throw up something interesting too ... please do not spare the brickbats... I am open to them as much as I look forward to the bouquets

Iwitness

Salil said...

Hi,
That is one of the cheekiest blog I have read!
A small Ericcson in your hand is worth more than a large one in someone else’s purse. But I agree, the smaller the better as far as Ericcsons are concerned.
Keep them coming
Cheers,

Sinders and ashes said...

Naughty. But funny. Good one. Keep it coming.

Shalini said...

Hahahaha...that was PHuuuuunnny!....

simran said...

way too funny dude

Av said...

Too goood!!!
Keep them double entendres coming!

writerzblock said...

OMG, this was awesome!! Just stumbled on your blog from Salil's and must say, it was totally worth the while. May I blogroll you?
Cheers..

Priya Prem said...

OMG...hilarious...was in a hurry to finish it, must admit...curiosity got the better of me...did it again now :-)

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